Just Me

I am Maria I love Jesus yes I do I am a "church junkie" and a "Bible thumper" I will be a missionary to Holland I have the raddist family Worship in the dance and theatre are amazing Writing frees my spiritPoetry southes my soul I support our troops The peace sign, is the footprint of the American chicken In love with Fred Astaire, Nat King Cole, and Charlie Daniels Musicals and the Opera are definantly my forte I am a French Canadian I went to culinary skool Michael Crawford's voice makes me melt Stallions are all that is of grace, beauty, and majesty Monet, VanGogh, and MCEscher are incredible My hero is yes, my daddy.and Batman (Christian Bale...whew) I believe in RKBAJane Austen and Daphne DuMaurier are amazing I speak a little Dutch I Conrinthians 4:13 rocks We live in the land of the free BECAUSE of the brave There are always so many cowboys, so little ropeWhen guns are outlawed, I'll be an outlaw I can play the tinwhistle Seafood is tasty (espically calamari) Phantom of the Opera is my favourite play "The Highwayman" is a great poem Uncle Sam and I want you to take your traterous liberal butt to CanadaPecos Bill is my role model I like escargot, caviar, frog legs, elk, gazelle, and ostrich Rap equals love Oh man...egg nog I have a 67 banana yellow El Camino, and go-kart Steve Irwin and Jaques Couesteau are rad I want to paint my room John Deere green

A New Year

Okay, so here's my first blog for this year. I know what you're thinking, gheez Maria, where have you been. Well, I've been in Hermiston visiting Shane several times now, shopping, hanging out, having breakthru, getting stabbed with a sword. Hopefully I will make assistant manager at work-considering that they are firing the current one tomorrow. Sucks for him. Oh well. Life's been pretty good...except that there seems like there is so many things that I have to wait for at present. I'll make it though. Thanks for all the prayer and support.

A Hurting Heart

I cannot wait to live in the one and amazing one horse town of Hermiston with Shane. Life shall be so much better. Dean-the pastor Shane is under is such an amazing person and preacher.

I need and love Shane soooooo much. Someday we shall be together again, and soon. Yay! I was able to visit him this past weekend. It was good, but saying goodbye is getting harder and harder. It's only been a month, but it feels like forever. My heart longs for the day when we're together forever. I want to always be at his side helping him, together following the will of God for our lives. 

I just hope this happens sooner than later. Cuz well, apparently Ive turned out to be one weak heart. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take, before I just secretly move there:) He really is the best and he has such an amazing heart that constantly longs to follow Christ.

Update

Okay so last week I got my permit, finally and I had an interview with Pizza Schmizza. I will know if I get the job sometime today. I also got a call to schedule an interview with a new Taco Del Mar near my house...

I really wanted an interview with one of the receptionist positions I filled out. But nothing has come through. Retail/Food industry is okay, something to get me by, but it's not like you can really grow and learn alot with it.

So I guess if ya'll could pray that I can get the one at either PizzaSchmizza until something more promising comes along, that'd be super.

We're going to go visit Shane again. Super excited!


Ok so here's another short update. Looks like all my prayin' paid off...finally. I got a job at Taco Del Mar and start training on Tuesday. Not the best job ever, but it's better than nothin. And I get to visit Shane this weekend! Yay! I'm sooooooooo excited.

So now, I could probably just use prayer for three things. One, that T-moblie won't shut off my account, cuz I'll be super late in paying it. Two, that I'll be a fast learner and hard worker at work, and three, that the friend I'm supposed to go visit Shane with does not bail! That'd be amazing.

The Visit

Going and visiting Shane was super rad-obviously. Except for the part where we hardly had any time together. It was the first time, so of course we had to visit with pastors Dean and Wanda, which by the by are way cool people. He's funny and she's an amazing cook-and they're both super spirit-filled.

We arrived on Saturday at around 3, and Shane had to work until 7. We unloaded Shane's things in his new apartment. Then visited with Dean and Wanda for a while, we all ate at a nice Mexican restaurant. Then Eddie, Shane, and I went to Shane's roommate's work-Farmer's Kitchen and had some chocolate torte. After that we watched "The Office" until about 0130. Fun. Then Shane and I hung out for a few hours more.

Church was cool too. The worship team is very enthusiastic, as is Dean when he preaches. We had an amazing lunch cooked by Wanda and played monopoly. Before we knew it, it was time to say goodbye...

I can't wait until the next visit.

Memories

Grandpas and Granddaughters. They have a very special bond. A knot that is not easily severed. It is quite distinct from any other relationship, in a great many ways. I learned to fish, draw, and a ton about wild animals from him. When I was first learning to talk I didn't know how to say "grandpa", and somehow "paco" came out. Seeing as I was the oldest of grandchildren, the rest followed. I love him dearly, and though he has sort of gotten himself in a bind in the recent past, I still love him. I wish he would see the choice he's been making the way everyone else does, and be motivated to stop. Instead, he sits there day after day, with his precious unemployment check that he spends on alcohol. Maybe soon he'll come to realize. It's funny how we can remember things so young, eh? I don't remember everything, but I practically lived with him the first 2 years of my life. Paco, please come home.

Update

Upon reading this one might think that this is more or less a blog about Shane. But I'll tie myself in just you wait. 

It's been over 2 weeks since I've last seen him. He is working full time at Goodwill, then has some random job cleaning ferret cages for 3 hours, for 40$...(I think). He seems to be growing and learning a lot from his pastors. He is also playing on the worship team, and helping with children's church. I never knew that I could miss someone so much. I mean, I imagined it...but never fully understood it. It is harder than I ever imagined. Days seems so long....(no, I am not depressed) We talk on the phone everyday. Sometimes 2 hours at a time...Hehe.

Right now I've got a very small income by grading the papers of the students that Amy taught. My plan is to buckle down and get a real job right after this first vist to Hermiston (Oct 20&21). I shall try to work between 50-70 hours, pay off some bills and save for a car. I am retesting for another permit, and will drive my friend Amy's, extra car. Hopefully by the time I've saved a chunk of money, I'll be ready for the drive test. Which I'm sure I will. It's not like I've never driven before. Haha.

Oh life is exciting, scary, challenging, and happy all at once! And yeah, I eventually plan to move to Hermiston with Shane...however the date is still undecided.

Change

And the bad change. Well, it's good and bad. Shane has moved to Hermiston Oregon. He will do a 2 year internship with a pastor who helped start his home chruch. It will be ery good for him, and he will grow and learn. But it's really hard. It has not even been a week, yet it feels like eternity. I'll manage. Somehow, with Jesus, I'll manage. Yay for us!

The Story of Shane and I

So I've known Shane ever since I've been in Gresham. For about two years now. For about the first year i knew him, we were just friends. Then the next school year we were pretty much best buds. We've got a hell of alot in common: love the theatre, music. Together we're the odd ones out, both not foursquare and from small churches. For months we were good buddies, then in April he told me that he liked me as more than a friend. And well, as funny as it sounds, I thought he was joking. Ha. When he said he wasn't, I told him I'd sleep on it. One month went by, and I wrote him a rediculas letter of rejection. In my mind... I'd alrealy had the picture of a perfect guy, and well...he just wasn't it. In fact, I thought it'd be a European. But honestly the whole Europe thing is cool and all, but seems to be a fad among the people of EastHill, not me... Then I had several people say, "Maria, what were you thinking? Shane is amazing, and I've always thought you'd be good together" Well, 'here goes nothing', I'd said in my mind. So, then I thought more, and I thought 'yeah, I always did think it'd be cool to have the man one was with, and your best friend be one in the same. So on May 19th is the offical date of our going out. 

And now you could say I'm so freakin crazy about him. And don't tell him, but I'm going to stowaway on a jet to Idaho in September.

Just Life

Ok, so now I work at this little pizza place in Gresham called Carly's. It's allright, just minimum wage+tips. Tips are pretty good, except when I worked on Independence day...ha I made a whopping 1.50$...ha. Usually it's not quite that bad. Ha. And let's see. I live with my good friend Heather and her mom. I've been dating Shane for about 6 weeks now...oh wow. 

Let's see. On Monday night I got virtually no sleep. Then I swam for about 3 hours in the afternoon, then worked for nine hours, slept little, worked nine hours again, slept, and yeah...now I'm messing around. Amazing.

Blue Like Jazz

The thing I loved about Nadine was that I never felt like she was selling anything. She would talk about God as if she knew Him, and as if she had talked to Him on the phone that day. She was never ashamed, which is the thing with some Christians I had encountered. They felt like they had to sell God as if He were a soap or a vacuum cleaner, and it's like they weren't really listening to me, they didn't care, they just wanted me to buy their product.

Your Script

Everyone has his own script to write. His own story. What does yours say? The funny thing is that I was realizing the other day, that mine is mostly good, which is good...I guess. Dosen't really fit with the "no pain, no gain" idea. It seems as if someone has had someone dear to them die, parents divorce, abuse, alcohol, or some form of other crisis. I can't really think of anything of that sort that has happend in my life. Sure my great grandma died, but she was 87...to be expected, sort of. At age 9 I had scoliosis. No pain, though. None. Ever. God has given me a gift of a VERY high pain tolerance. I've always thought however, that if one doesn't know pain, then you can never fully understand true happiness. Likewise with any emotion, and its opposite. Most everyone I know, has, at some point battled depression, anxiety, anorexia, etc. I have not. My father died at age 25, when I was not yet 2. But I didn't know him. I can't remember a blasted thing about him. They all say that I look like him, but when I refer to my dad, I mean the man that my mom married sometime later, who adopted me. I have a wonderful bro and sis who are the best and I never really had too much sibling rivalry going on. My parents have always loved each other and have set a great example for me.

So, if I turn out to be a loser, it's obviously nothing in my past. Everything about it was amazing...

I JUST WANT A SNACK

I JUST WANT A SNACK. I don't need a triple chocolate meltdown, caramel and hazelnut bits, explode in my mounth, blast me away, toffee butter bar. I JUST WANT A SNACK.

Mi Familia

All I have to say...is that I have the freakin' best family this side of the Mississippi. My dad, well, he's pretty much my hero and knows alot about life and ...well, windows. He's just really the best. Mom, all that is kind, loving and tender. She really is the essence ofcomplete opposite narcissism. Actually, read three blogs down, about the song entitled "Tough"...that be my Mama. My sis, she is just way supah-fly. She loves to have a good time, and is really concerned about people. She is AMAZING! And my best friend forevah. Little bro, well he is just fun. We like to go and explore, pick berries, and play GIJoe. So way cool....

And, yeah, I guess they are on my mind. Because all the other things on my mind lately...are not exacly as fun. 1. Host Mom deciding that I am not the best person to have stay...to put it midly. 2. decisions decisions. 3. Friends talking about friends...playing middle man. Arg. Oh, well. GLORY to JESUS!

TWLOHA

SHE HAS KNOW SUCH GREAT PAIN; HAUNTED DREAMS AS A CHILD, THE NEAR-CONSTANT PRESENCE OF EVIL EVER SINCE. SHE HAS FELT THE TOUCH OF AWEFUL NAKED MEN, BATTLED DEPRESSION AND ADDICTION, AND ATTEMPTED SUICIDE. HER ARMS REMEMBER RAZOR BLADES, FIFTY SCARS THAT SPEAK OF SELF-INFLICTED WOUNDS. SIX HOURS AFTER I MEET HER, SHE IS FEELING TRAPPED, TWO GROUPS OF “FRIENDS” OFFERING OPPOSITE IDEAS. EVERYONE IS ASLEEP. THE SUN IS RISING. SHE DRINKS LONG FROM A BOTTLE OF LIQUOR, TAKES A RAZOR BLADE FROM THE TABLE AND LOCKS HERSELF IN THE BATHROOM. SHE CUTS HERSELF, USING THE BLADE TO WRITE “FUCK UP” LARGE ACROSS HER LEFT FOREARM.

STOP THE BLEEDING.
RESCUE IS POSSIBLE.
LOVE IS THE MOVEMENT.
*TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS*

twloha.com
myspace.com/towriteloveonherarms
TWLOHA IS A NON-PROFIT MOVEMENT DEDICATED TO PRESENTING HOPE AND FINDING HELO FOR THOSE STRUGGLING WITH DEPRESSING, ADDICTION, CUTTING, AND SUICIDE.

100 Life Goals

Accomplished: Listed in John Deere Yellow

Yet to do: Listed in John Deere Green

adopt and/or have a sponsored child
befriend an enemy
be in two places at once
bring gifts to an orphanage in a 3rd world country
debate a pro-choicer
do a 360 on a kneeboard
don’t have a TV ‘til kids are older
don’t get fat
don’t name kids common names
eat healthy
help a homeless person
get an ol’ car for my 1st one
get a period style dressget married outside
be on jeopardyown spurs and chaps
paraglide
go on a Caribbean cruise
go on a mission trip
skydiverock climb
surf
learn Dutch
learn Spanish
learn French
learn sigh
learn German
learn to tap-dance
learn to line dance
learn to ballroom dance
learn to sing opera
mr. Right must be approved by God and Dad
learn to snow ski
learn to water ski
own or lease a horse
ride horse on beach
see Oklahoma play
see west side story
see Annie
see fiddler on roof
see phantom
see swan lake
see Shakespeare’s best…in Ashland
star in Broadway
star in Shakespearevisit Australia
visit Austria
visit Victoria Canada
visit Nova Scotia and PEI Canada
visit Banff Canada
visit Paris
visit Frankfurt
visit Great Pyramids
visit Israel
visit Dublin
visit Florence
visit Pisa
visit Rome
visit NZ
visit 7 wonders of ancient world
visit bora bora
visit Tahiti
visit Barcelona
visit Kazakhstan
visit Bancock
visit Yellowstone
visit Crater lake
visit statue of liberty
visit mt Rushmorevisit golden gate bridge
visit Alcatraz
write and publish book
jump from bridge
go-kart…for real
be 1st on swim team
go to favourite statelearn how to tune up carlearn basic survival techniqueslive, love, thrive…
bake Christmas cookies for neighbors
climb a silo
drive the deere
write and publish poem
learn to play an instrument
ride in FRONT SEAT of cap car
learn basics of bartending
go to culinary schoolgo to theatre school
go to Bible school

Frustration

"If it weren't for Christians, I'd be a Christian."Ghandi

Ahhhhh. That makes me sick. Sick of hypocritical Christians. Christians who think they're better than all else. I knew a Christian who once said that in order for me to tell someone about Jesus, they need to come up to my level. Huh? How does that work...beats me.

I'm also tired of people having to wait until their summer mission trip, or when they are out of the country to wittiness to people. What about this, most unchurched state of Oregon? How about our funky town (aka Portland, which by the way is what the picture is a reflection of). I mean, sometimes it's like we are in this little society of Christians and we never leave it. We wait until we go somewhere before developing any kind of circle of non-Christian friends. We forbid ourselves of going into any unclean place, for fear of God knows what. And then, wonder why Ghandi wasn't a Christian, and why our churches don't get many new, unbelievers...only church shopping Christians.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing anyone...this goes for me to. But where is the balance. Obviously don't forsake seeking fellowship together with the bretheren. We must have our sphere of Christian friends who encourage us. And learn to shake the dust off our feet when being in certain places/situations. However, having to shake the dust off one's feet,doesn't mean don't go there. I also understand that certain people have a gift for ministering to certain people groups. But, we are all called to people. And whatever happened to they'll know we're Christians by our love? I mean, that's foremost what you have to do with "unlovely" people...if you catch my drift. We must obviously used discretion and discernment...however, it isn't the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.

Elephant Ride

So this is actually a picture from last year... however, what can I say? It's Stephi and I on an elephant in Roseberg, Oregon...

Living Godly in a World Gone Wrong

James1.26 If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless. 27 Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.

‘Tis difficult to live a righteous life in our corrupted world of heathenism, materialism, and narcissism. They are the pursuit of pleasure, possessions, pride. Or, the world, the flesh and the devil.

And what is the standard by which we evaluate our lives? What is the ruler by which we measure everything? It is the Word of God. We as believers, if we are to live right in a world gone wrong, have to know what God's standard is.

I heard an analogy from a friend of mine, a Mr. Shane Tebeck to be precise, about a fear that wells inside people It may be similar to the fear of blood/needles. A doctor has a certain personality that can tend to the psychical needs/injuries of others with out the queasiness in his stomach, nor getting lightheaded. Whereas there are those who can barely tolerate viewing a bloody nose. Perhaps likewise with we as Christians in the ministry. There are those who are gifted with patience and don’t easily take offense, and can adapt more to “hanging with the sinners”, whereas…some, might be more equipped for the people who’ve been fence sitting between belief in Christ, and a life with out him.
“I know, it’s a dog eat dog world out there…so Jesus, please holla back!”

About Me

[A is for age:] 21 A is also for: Also…ha, Apollogetics, Amethyst, Aroma, and Amy.
[B is for breed of choice:] Depends on what for, but we’ll go with the Native American…so pretty. B is also for Buccaneer, Brave, Batman, Belgian waffles, Bible thumper, Boccellis, Blonde, and Brit.
[C is for career:] I am a student. Also I’d like: Chef, Caterer, Childcare, mad-skilled Concert pianist, Concerto writer, and Crazy actor, Captain morgan, Canada…eh?, Court Jester, Cowboy/Cattleman, Calimari, Cherokee, and Condoleezza Rice.
[D is for your dog's name:] well, my family’s dog is Benz (after Mercedes-Benz), and my host family’s dog is Amber. D is also for: Daracula, Drive, Detrimation, Dragster, Dictionary, Dance, Daphne duMaurier, and Dad.
[E is for an essential item you use everyday:] existential, eucalyptus-eating elk jerky. E is also for: Emerald, Evergreen, Ezekiel, Encyclopedia, Escargot, Egg nog, Egypt, Eschatology and Euphrates.
[F is for favorite song at the moment:] “Jolene” Dolly Parton and “Say Yes” Dusty Drake. F is also for Ferry, Forlorn, Flamboyant, Freddy, France, Fred Astaire, Ft. Vancouver, and Fabulous French Food.
[G is for favorite games:] too many. cranium, wink murder, pictionary, poker. G is also for: Gumballs, Gumby, Grandparents, George W, Greek, and Giraffe.
[H is for hometown:] da Couve. H is also for: Horses, Hephisina, Halalujiah, hemp, Hawaii, Holland, and Horatio G Spafford.
[I is for the instrument you play] I am a mad pianist, voice, cello, and tinwhistle. I is also for: Imagination, Intuition, and Igloo.
[J is for favorite juice] Orange Cranberry all the way. J is also for Jaguar, Juggling, Joker, Jack of spades, John Deere green, John Wayne, Jane Austen, Jacques Cousteau, Jeopardy, and Jesus. 
[K is for kids?:] Somewhere between 2 and 4. K is also for: Kaleidascope, Knee board, Karamel…with a K. ha!
[L is for last kiss:] Good one…I am unsure. L is also for Lover’s Lane, Lone star state, Lars Larson, Lon Cheney, and Lord Byron.
[M is for mom's job:] My mom is a homemaker and she home-schools my little brother. M is also for Maria, M&Ms, Mikey, Michael Savage, and Mom. 
[N is for Nothing]
[O is for overnight hospital stays:] When I had scoliosis surgery at age 15 I stayed for one week. O is also for Orange, Olives, and Oregon trail/territory.
[P is for phobias:] I’m not so sure I have any…P is also for: Powered blue Mikey shirts…ha, Polar bear, Phantom, Pirates, Pink, Pizzazz, Prestige, Pecos Bill, Paraglide, Parasail, and Promises of God.
[Q is for quotes you like:] "Necessity is indeed the mother of invention” Q is also for: Quick-stitched, Quilted Quotes, in whose author’s names begin with “Q”
[R is for restaurant] Rimsky-Korsakoffeehouse. Heck yes! (amazing fool) R is also for: Ravishing, Refurbished Rooms Representing Rad Renaissance themed artists, Romeo, Roller skating, Rap…some, Rogues, Red Roses, Right-wing Redneck party of “R”s, and Rambo.
[S is for status] Single. And S is also for: Summer, Sly Snakes, Swords, Spiderman, Steve Irwin, Sapphire, SCUBA dive, Sean Hannity, and Schwager…Schwagsta, or Schwaggenator.
[T is for time you wake up:] 0700. T is also for: Theatre, Thai food, Tea, Tyrannosaurus Rex, Titanic, Tractor, and ‘Twas.
[U is for under…?:] Underwater, particularly really Underwater, however the Ultimate Underwater adventure at Rimsky is ultra-amazing. U is also for: USA, Unicorn, Umbrella, Uncle Sam, and US flag.
[V is for vegetable you love:] olives and radishes. V is also for: Vancouver, Vivacious, Valor, Voodoo doughnuts, Van Gough, and Vermeer.
[W is for worst habit:] You tell me. W is also for: Washington, We Were soldiers, WWI and WWII vets, White chocolate, West Side Story, and Whistle.
[X is for x-rays] From age 9-20 I probably had about 16 or 18 x-rays for scolosis. X is also for: Xylaphone, and Xena
[Y is for yummy food you make:] fool’s paradise and seafood linguini. Y is also for: Ya Hala, old Yeller, Yo-Yo, Y’shua, and Yodel. 
[Z is for your favorite animal at the Zoo:] now this is way hard…but I’ll go with the crocs. They’re so strikingly random and fierce. Z is also for: Zeal, Zephyr, and Zygotic.